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How to Find Good Friends in a World of Fans

This latest blog entry by Ken Davis strikes home with me as I have thought many times of my own plight.   I have known for a long time that I am a very uninteresting, unexciting person and by most standards pretty boring.   Since moving away from home in 1966 I really have not made any real friends;  I have folks I say hello to at church and so forth but that’s about it.  The friends I had when I left home well that was about it for me.  Anyway I digress. . . . here is a blog entry from Ken Davis that I thought was great and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.


As a public speaker and entertainer I love the fans that have followed me faithfully throughout the years. But off the stage, I find my heart longs for more than just fans.

Every man and woman on earth desperately needs a few good friends. And even people who never step on stage often have lots of fans but few friends.

Do you have friends or fans?

No matter what your occupation, this is a question that has a huge impact on your quality of life. In order to answer that question you need to know difference between a fan and a friend. Here are some hints.

Fans see you as networking potential ————— Friends see your potential
Fans love you for your performance ————-  A friend loves you for you.
Fans are fickle ————— Friends are forever.
Fans want to see only your good side  ————–  A friend will protect your backside.
Fans demand that you entertain them —————– Friends just want your company.

Several years ago I came to the sad realization that I had almost no friends. I had thousands of fans, I had a successful career, I had lots of stuff, but I had no real friends. I was a nomad. I didn’t herd goats and pitch tents in the desert, but I walked through a desert of countless audiences, herding a dog and a pony. I never pitched my tent anywhere.

I had people all around me and I was still alone. When I died, I was afraid Diane wouldn’t be able to find six people who were willing to carry the box I was buried in. 
I had nightmares of herpulling the casket down the church steps alone; thump, thump, thump, then dragging it to where “the big black SUV” waited.

I have good news! I am learning to make friends!

So how did I find friends in a desert of fans? I am purposefully changing my lifestyle to make it happen.

Making friends requires an investment of time.
Time sharing meals
Time helping with projects
Time sitting by a hospital bed
Time laughing until the early hours of morning
Time talking until you fall asleep

I can’t make good friends on Delta airlines, in a lonely hotel room or performing in front of 1,000 fans.  I need to make room in my schedule to be a good friend.

Making friends requires taking risks
Trust someone with who you really are
Reveal your heart
Be accountable
Hold someone accountable
Debate issues you feel strongly about

I will never know if someone loves the real me until I let someone know the real me.

Making friends requires that you practice grace
Grace to forgive
Grace to overlook imperfection
Grace to realize you will never find a perfect friend and you will never be a perfect friend.

One must find the faith to accept God’s forgiveness and then extend that forgiveness to others.

The best way to make good friends is to be a good friend.

I don’t have hundreds of close friends, but I have made sure I have at least six that are capable of lifting a box!

Sooo…… do you have friends or fans?  How did you get them?  I look forward to your comments.

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